& Shut Up
Hi, I'm a the mofo with that sexy mole and I would like to bury myself in a hole. I am skinny and bulimic but I hate diet coke and apples. I like being sympathetic because it makes me look good and even though I am skinny and bulimic I still do not wish you to be like me. I am unique.
Date:
Friday, July 31, 2009
Time:
12:39 PM
Procrastinations
Every year, UP entrance exams take place and more than 70, 000 examinees will be taking it nationwide. This is one of the main reasons why it's really difficult to enter UP for college.
I am one of the 70, 000 examinees who has an ambition of passing. I know it's a pretty high ambition but it feels like I'm not even trying to pass at all. It's like the only reason why I'm gonna take the test is for me to have an experience. Why did I say that I'm not even trying? Simple. I haven't studied a thing when I'm at home. All I do is procrastinate. How irresponsible of me! haha!
A lot of things have been distracting me for awhile but when some were gone, I lost the will to study. Ironic huh? Well, what can I say, I'm one of the laziest female bitch you'll ever know. When I'm happy and problem free, or when my problems just went away, I become carefree. I won't care about my studies and the extra-curricular activities. I only care about my social life and how to make myself more happy. That's why I've been procrastinating.
Top 12 Procrastinations:
1. Watch MTV's
2. Listen to music
3. Go online
4. Hang-out with friends
5. EAT!
6. Blogging
7. Goof off
8. Draw
9. Sleep
10. Read books
11. Dance
12. Stare blankly at the ceiling
Texting isn't part of my top12 procrastinations because I've been avoiding my cellphone since I knew when I'll be taking the test. Right now I'm not sure if I could study hard enough. I'm also in doubt if I can pass UPCAT. But when some of my anxieties were flushed down the toilet, I didn't think about the pressure of UPCAT anymore. haha!! Wish me luck! ( Right now, the only way I can pass is through luck! haha!)
:D
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Date:
Monday, July 27, 2009
Time:
6:36 PM
Falling in a deep Abyss of Misery
It's been days since I last talked to DUDE and it has been the hardest time ever! I had no one to talk to, no one to share my secrets or problems with. Its like Volcano Head of Mine is gonna errupt any minute of my life that's full of nothing but empty bliss!
Knowing that I've been struggling with my deepest problems alone, feels like I'm drowning in an abyss while reminiscing every single mischief I've been through or going through during the first fifteen years of my life. Seeing those things makes me want to grab a knife from our kitchen drawer and slash it at my wrist. I know it sounds a bit melodramatic but I just couldn't take it anymore. I've been crying every drop of salty juice from my cursed eyes for the past few days. There was nothing frivolous enough to make me show a real smile. Basically, the only thing I do right now is show a smile full of lies. God, I'm such a hypocrite!
Right now, no one is brave enough to dive in the abyss to save me. No one is brave enough to help me escape from drowning from the pressures of UPCAT, the pressure from my parents, the feeling of isolation from DUDE, and from the callousness of Arvin. At least my friends, the PIPIKSTER, are still there for me. I think that there the only ones trying to save me from drowning.
Hm.,this post seems to be the shortest post so far. Hope it's good because it shows nothing but my misery. You might get sick of my constant agony. Either way, I hope you'll like my post...
:(
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Date:
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Time:
7:58 PM
Beer Glass Full of Friendship....
A lot of people know I drink and get drunk easily. Even I admits it. But even though this is the case, I can't help but drink more and more, until I get too drunk to function.
My blog was mostly about one guy, but one of my biggest mistake was not considering the other guy, my bestfriend, aka: dude.
A lot of people mistaken him as Hades (the flirtatious guy I was talking about from my last post), but FYI, its not him, Hades is my classmate.
Now for the real story....
My addictiveness to Arvin was just like my addictiveness to BEER. I can't help but look at him or talk about him or be near him. I know a lot of people are getting sick of me talking about him constantly every single day of my lunatic life, but what I never expected was that my very own DUDE was getting sick of my intoxicated mouth talking about him.
Last night, we were chatting, and he just got mad for no reason, or so I thought, but like people say, a lot of people die from false thoughts ( MADAMING NAMAMATAY SA MALAKING AKALA ). From my last post, my DUDE and MJ read about Hades and my DUDE asked MJ to guard me from the horrifying darkness the flirtatious guy Hades could bring me. I just found out about this last night, when DUDE was already mad. MJ became my guardian angel. He was the one who told me that DUDE was mad because of my addictiveness to a certain beer only a few like to drink, Arvin....
But upon knowing this, I also read the status of DUDE saying "wag mu nang bantayan yan MJ, walang quentang tao yan" ( :( )...At first I didn't know it was me, but upon pondering these words, and also with the help of MJ, I found out that he was talking about me.
I never knew my callousness can drag people to the point of them turning there back on me. I really never expected this to happen, especially knowing that my DUDE rarely gets mad at me. Now, my freakishly hunermous mind is failing to function. I can't tell anyone my deepest secrets and have no one to talk to during online period.
Message for DUDE:
In case you'll be reading this, I just want you to know how sorry I am for my mistake of isolating you and choosing Arvin over you. Who is he anyway right? I just fell in love with him in the middle of the dance floor. But you became my friend from the beggining of highschool, the best chapter of our lives. And losing you will be the most horrifying part of the book. And I fear that this chapter might not have a happy ending. Its like the protagonist is being brutally killed without giving a chance to fight. And I never want our beer glass of friendship to be filled with isolation and gruesome pain. I really hope you forgive me.
Its my first time to blog about apologizing but this is the only way I came up with because I've always been afraid in apologizing in front of the person who's mad at me. I guess I made my move, its all up to him now....
:(..:((
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Date:
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Time:
7:55 PM
♥ Impenetrable LOVE ♥
Hey guys!! It's been awhile since I last posted huh?? Well, here I am again!! The fairest
blogger in the world!!haha!!
Today, my post is, once again, about my love for this guy. Even if you get sick of reading my blog that's all about him, I DON'T FREAKING CARE ABOUT YOU!! You know why?? Because I LOVE HIM!!♥♥♥
Remember my last post?? It's entitled "Oh, so Callous". I just let you reminisce because HE READ IT!!waah!!BUSTED... Now when he read it, he sorta got mad for awhile but before I could even end this scornfully useless life of mine, he called me and said that he is no longer mad. haha!! But I learned my lesson to NEVER use the term GROTESQUE to someone you dearly LOVE!!:))(LOL!!)
A few days after this happened, my phone got destroyed, but that didn't stop me from communicating with him. I borrowed the cellphones of my dear sissies and text him. He even called the night I watched Harry Potter (Awesome movie by the way. Daniel Radcliffe is so cute!!Too bad for Dumbledore though).
Then there was this guy who was constantly flirting to me. Let's hide him by the name HADES because he mimicked this god for a school activity. Hades always tries to hold my hand or HUG ME!!damn.,I totally hate it when he does this things. I couldn't stand it!! Since I love ARVIN, I openly told him what Hades kept doing to me.
Feeling guilty (even if I don't tolerate Hades' actions), I told ARVIN that maybe I should hug him, too. I didn't want guilt to fill my heart that's already full of my love for ARVIN. Yesterday (Monday), I hugged him. But later that night, when my parents got home, my mom and dad asked me freakishly frightening questions. They were asking who ARVIN was because they read his messages on my sis' phone. When the brutal interview started, I knew that they were gonna force me to stay away from him, and so they did. Today, I told him what my parents said. At first I was afraid because my parents do not hesitate to BEAT ME UP, but didn't want the past to happen again. My past with JULIUS ended this way, with my parents telling me to stay away from him and I NEVER want this to happen with me and ARVIN knowing that we're not even together yet.
Telling this to him was gruesomely painful. I even cried while taking the chapter test for math. Good thing nobody noticed.
Now, I will do my best to stand up to my parents and defend my love, especially when I know i followed there will for me to take up medical courses at college. And there's no way my parents nor Hades could RUIN my LOVE for Arvin.
I guess the real test for my love is yet to come, till then, I'll be ready....
I LOVE ARVIN!!!WAAAH!!!
:D
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